Monday, July 9, 2012

Running My Mouth...How it all began

Welcome to my little corner of the blogging world! I'm going to figure this out as I go, which is how I do everything! I've committed to run my first half marathon this year, and after my big 15K race this weekend (which is the longest distance I've ever run) I will officially start training. I'm terrified. I'm excited. And I'm hoping blogging will help me through it so I don't die on the course.
Some background: My BFF has always been a runner. She got me to join the track team in highschool (hey, it looked better for college applications if I did a sport too...and it was one team you didn't have to do try outs to be on; one of my biggest fears in life has always been to try, then be rejected. I'm trying to change this.) I liked it, I ran the 400 and sometimes the 800 if we needed more people. Not distance by any means. I did ok.

I ran to combat stress in college. I ran after college to escape my not so fantastic relationship for a little bit. I ran to celebrate leaving said relationship, I ran to fit into my wedding dress (the result of a new, great, amazing relationship.) I never thought of myself as a runner. I just laced up and headed out the door when I was worried or anxious or excited even. If someone asked me if I ran, I would answer with, "Oh, I just like to jog a little, I'm not really a runner." I don't know why. Maybe because I'm not fast? Maybe because I didn't enter races? Maybe because I ran alone, never with a purpose to train? I'm not sure. I still don't "feel like a runner" a lot of days, and I'm working on this too, since it really is a big part of who I am now.

So, I got married, I had babies. I stopped running. I got depressed. I was miserable. I hated my body, I resented my husband and my family and didn't really want to be at my job. I probably should have gotten help. Instead, I ate too much, bitched a lot, hung out with other like-minded individuals. (Not a good plan, by the way.)

A few years ago, we had a weight loss competition at work. I didn't need to lose a lot, but 20 lbs sure would make a difference in my wardrobe, since more than half of my closet was pre-pregnancy clothes, and I was still wearing my pre-maternity wear-that became post-maternity-wear. (You know the stuff you buy in denial that you should be in maternity clothes ...maybe that was just me) It was 10 weeks long and I started exercising using my wii (I DID NOT want anyone seeing me!). I used Your Shape and I couldn't make it through the first work out. Then I did. Then it got easier and easier. The competition was over and I was 20 lbs lighter. I felt great. I loved my family. I loved my job. I loved me. I couldn't believe I had suffered for so long and all I needed to do was move my body!

I was forced to sign up for my first 5K since high school. I off-handedly mentioned I might like to run in one and a guy I work with heard me running my mouth and got on and signed me up for a local 5K that was a month out. It was done. So I trained, and I did it, and it didn't suck. I signed up for another. I loved it. I signed up for a big race, a 15K that has thousands and thousands of runners. And I was hooked. I had planned to run it that year, so I could say I did it, the WHOLE thing (they have a 5K option, and I didn't want to be the girl who says she ran it, then have to qualify that I did the short one) but it was so amazing, I can't imagine ever NOT running it.

So it was a year and a half later...I was still running here and there. I definitely get running better when I have a race I have forked over the money for in the future. I went to my BFFs baby shower. We don't see each other a lot any more. She's not REALLY my BFF anymore, although I still call her that. We are friendly. We have a lot of great memories from middle school and high school. I said one day I want to try a half marathon. She was all hugely preggers and was not running. She said, after I have this baby, we'll do one together. I agreed with her, running my mouth as usual. (I mean, she was HUGE!! There was no way I'd have to go through with this!) I got the fateful call this past January. Registration was open for the half marathon she thought would be a good one for a first timer like me. Crap. I had to do this. So I did...but that was 7 months ago! Now training looms on the horizon (truth be told I should have started last week) and I'm scared, excited, anxious...good things those are the feelings that get me to lace up and get out the door!

That's a long post to explain why I'm blogging, but I guess that's what I do. I run my mouth.

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